Friday, October 20, 2006

The return of Scaramouche

GZ watch:

Mr. Alawi says he is the
next man and Mr. Al-Mutlaq nods for it.

Happy Eid everybody!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

One flew over the Cuckoo’s nest

BC -

She was attractive and progressive looking lady of 25 years old from Mosul. Her father was a high ranked officer during the Saddam government but later fell out of favor with the ex-dictator and was arrested and eventually executed in 2002.

It was a fine day back in September 2005 when she left work to go back home, and while she was riding a taxi in Al-Ghazaliya area two cars pulled up and forced the taxi to pull over. Several masked men surrounded her and the taxi driver, but unlike the taxi driver she was taken away on the accusation that she was working as an interpreter for the occupation authority, and that in fact she did.

The first group of kidnappers kept her for 5 days in derelict houses, and continued to move her from one house to another until they handed her over to a second group where she remained for another 5 days, during which she, unlike other kidnapped foreign who put weight on during their ordeals, was almost beaten to death to make her confess. They savagely flogged her arms and back and they made sure to inflect the severest pain to her face. She was whipped to a point she began to feel her body pain against her internal organs when she moved. It was indescribable feeling. Her feet and hands were constantly cuffed with tight wires. She was punched, electrocuted, dragged, and hanged upside down. And when she reached an utterly pitiful state alive she was turned over to another group of men whom she overheard talking feverishly about her as being clinically dead.

She remained with that third group until the end in what seemed a desolate house where not a jetfighter, a helicopter or even a single shot was heard! It was complete silence. She didn’t even know if she was inside or outside Iraq because during the transportation she was delirious.

That house was quite large and full of people where she immediately received medical treatment and ‘blood transfusion!’ by a young doctor (he was referred to as doctor). When she began to regain her strength she noticed how clean and well groomed the men looked. Plenty of them had their own ‘new looking’ laptops at all times. She noticed how polite and well articulated the young (22-25 years old) Iraqi men were who resembled university students.

She heard voices of other Arabs from the Arabian Peninsula in the house too. And when she finally began to come around and commenced to ‘chew the food properly’, which was sometimes served by one-eyed or one-armed men! who did not cry a single word, her kidnappers told her that ‘they are of Al-Azarqawi!’ and she should be content that she is staying with ‘his women and children’. The most peculiar thing is that these women never blurted a word of Arabic or in any other language. The voices of the children did not sound quiet Arabic! The women wore long black dresses head to toe with faces totally covered. They were responsible for bathing her. She was sure they were white women and not men from their hands, and she kept wondering were these women Iraqis, Arabs or even foreign!

A few days later Imam was brought in to identify her as an occupiers collaborator. Her kidnappers showed him the photo that the Imam had apparently provided the perpetrators with. But when the Imam saw her in person with this horrendous situation she says he was appalled and insisted that the kidnappers had the wrong woman and a row erupted between the Imam and the kidnappers about the real identity.

She had finally and single-handedly brokered a deal with the abductors! And she began her ‘educational and rehab programs’. These programs pertained films about special operations to combat spies, and it contained slaughtering scenes, amputating of body parts, breaking of jaws and plucking heads off with large pair of ‘circular tongs!’ They showed her films about surgically removing eyes, arms, and legs of men of different ages. And how those crippled or blind men are being led while wrapped with bombs into crowded areas to detonate them with a remote control.

After her release she went through three months of traumatic agony that had pushed her several times to the edge of suicide, during which she gotten into an analyzing daze: how could the kidnappers know her route back home and her working hours if they were constantly variables? How come the invaders never attempted to rescue her or bothered to ask for her when she was kidnapped and after her release? She remembered how a male interpreter was kidnapped from an undisclosed area and later killed.

When we met her last she was totally convinced that there are certain sinister elements amongst the invaders, to include Iraqis, who in due time would roll those cooperating Iraqis that are ‘dispensable’ down to that other end of the dark tunnel.

Although she seemed that she’s been scarred for life she has decided to turn a page on that indelible experience and to shake that ‘depleted’ dust off her shoulders. She got a new job with a home grown Iraqi company and she is thinking that one day she ‘might be able’ to get married.

Update 14-11-06:
she has finally tightened the knout with a married man!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

We’re back!

Dear readers,

The service provider has kindly unlocked our blog.

Al Tarrar

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Cash Advance for a good guffaw

BC -

Our jolly government never seizes to amaze the general public in finding ways to exclusively bail itself out in the midst of this madness. In fact, this government will pass as one of the survivalist institutions in modern history after the fall of Berlin.

Just last week our finance minister approved a release of cash advance worth of USD 14,000 for every MP and to be deducted from their salaries during the next 36 months. BC knows very well that those MPs could use that cash after returning emptied-pocket from their summer vacationing, which apparently they needed so badly after serving their country for a little over 4 months!! As one male MP said ‘everywhere is getting expensive’

Conversely, the Iraqi citizens who served their country for the last 15 years could only get cash advance of USD 2,000 and those who served for 10 years could get a mere USD 1000 Also, they need a consigner - a wealthy person, to get their cash advance approved! The majority ends up not getting it.

One silly note, those who served a few months on the Governing Counsel have been granted a life-time generous retirement!

Perhaps this is one reason why we hear the MPs heavy laughter during the televised sessions. Honestly, Iraqis have no idea what the hell these PMs are laughing about. Are they laughing at those other MPs how got their seats through the lottery? Because in today’s Iraq MPs should contemplate resigning, questioning the merits of democracy if there are any left. Instead we hear them saucily and flippantly laughing. We know the head of the communist party could even laugh at a buzzing fly. Mr. Al Hakim does it when he wants to elude a situation and the grand laugh echoes when Mr. President passes around to imprint kisses on the MPs cheeks. Is it a staged PR amplification by the invaders, because the noise gets louder on TV?

And while the goblins are, light-heartedly, offering each other gifts and money and chortle nonchalantly the Iraqi out there is seething with rage. We hardly can get out to run some errands. On top of that some ministries have the audacity to threaten their employees to have them fired or released without indemnity if they stopped showing up at work! Thousands of employees can’t turn up at work because on the way they might get pulled over and receive a bullet right through the eye instead of a cash advance.

The other day a sect-person told BC: think of the pros and cons if the Takfiris ever blew up the GZ!! … I guess in every tragedy there is unruly comedy.

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