Friday, April 28, 2006

Shop & Save Stores - Commitment to ‘Total Value’ for the modern Iraqi family

Streets Streaks:

Clothings and Accessories Department:

  • Complete official outfit for the Iraqi Special Police Forces – best seller @ USD 23.99 *
  • Complete official outfit for the Iraqi Regular Police Forces @ USD 11.99 *
  • Bullet Proof-Vest @ USD 29.99
  • One Set of Face Mask & Pair of Gloves @ USD 4.99

Hardware Department:

  • Original Police Vehicle @ USD 11,999** and you get 1 set of Sirens for free
  • Bullet Prove Vehicle for 339,999***
  • & introducing the Original Hummer on a monthly auction ****
  • Also, many other unbelievable hardware!

Hurry up while stock lasts…

> Retail and wholesale prices

> Cash back vouchers

> Gifts and lotteries

> Scratch & Win for many prizes – Mobiles, Detonators, Hand Grenades, Booby Traps, etc.

Working Hours: Home delivery: 24/7; Stores (yell & usher): 24/7

Stores locations: At 15 conveniently located stores in Bab Asharqi – Al Nahdha pavilion and Al Meriedi district in Al Thawar area (Al Sadr) with accessibility to public transportation. Valet parking services are available for minimal fees.

* Bargain sales @ 2 for the price of 1

** Insurance and service warranties are included at extra charges

*** Insurance and lifetime services are included

**** Pre-registration is required for credit history check

We apologize, NO major credit cards, American Express or Diners Club are accepted.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Basra Port Algebraic Expressions

BC Bird:

US = X1 = USD Billions

Iraqi workers = X2 = USD 100/each

Unknown Oil carriers = X3 = USD Billions

Masked black dressed men = (-X2) = USD 100/each

> X1 + [X2 + (-X2)] = X3

> X1 + [X2- X2] = X3

> X1 + [0] = X3

> X1 = X3 = USD Billions!!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Schindler's List


Source: B. Tribunal

“Official” CV

Name: Nouri Kamel Al Maliki (Jawad Al Maliki)
DOB: 1950
Place: Abi Qharq – Babel, Iraq
Status: Married with four children

  • Education:
    * Undergraduate degree in Theology from the University of Pillar of Religion, Baghdad.
    * Graduate
    degree from the University of Saladin, Saladin. Thesis: the life of the poet Abu Al Mahasin (Mr. Al Maliki’s grandfather who allegedly was one of the insurgent leaders during the infamous revolution of Nejef against the British occupation in the early 20th century)

  • Work Experience:
    >Late 1960s: Enlistment in the Dawa Party
    >1979: Received a death penalty for his political activities and fled to Syria
    >1979 – 2003: Actively involved in the Dawa Party from his Damascus based headquarter, and rigorously worked with the oppositions to uncover the criminalities of the ex-dictator (ex-president Mr. Saddam Hussein) and his regime. He wrote various essays and articles about the sufferings of the Iraqi people during the epoch of the ex-regime.
    >2003: Return to Baghdad after the fall of the dictatorship and became the first MP for Majlis AL Hukum under Mr. Bremer's.

  • 2003 – 2006:
    -Head of the committee for Security & Defense under Mr. Bremer's
    -Member of the committee for writing the constitution under Mr. Bremer's
    -First deputy and spokesman to the committee for the ‘debaathification’ of Iraq
    -Spokesman for the Shia Alliance

Extracted from the official media office newsletter for the PM-elect Mr. Nouri Kamel Al Maliki (Jawad Al Maliki)

[Oil: USD 75/Barrel]

Thursday, April 20, 2006

One for All & All for One

And, the Oil prices are at new record high of USD 74/barrel!

Easter Bunnies juggling Easter eggs

Streets Streaks (eyewitness):

Anonymous cars were roaming around the streets of Adhamyia today, handing out arms to whoever happened to be there!

Adhamiya II – The Revenge of the Sith & the Return of the Jedi

Streets Streaks (eyewitness):

A rumor was spread around in the Adhamiya district that the Interior Ministry Forces will invade the Adhamiya area and some flyers were thrown in the streets bearing the name of anonymous (presumably a Shiite) saying that they will attack Adhamiya as an act of revenge. Comrades of the area were prepared for the worst ...

3 days ago, unknown anti US forces ‘Jedis’ arrived to the area, and attempted a shooting spree at the Iraqi guards’ residence in Adahmiya, the guards in return started shooting back at the source of fire. This situation prompted the Iraqi guards headquarter to pass an appeasing call for a few religious and social figures, imploring them to call from mosques for people to calm down and stay at home because the Iraqi guards are in control.

Adhamiya was quiet for few weeks, the police forces were forbidden from taking any duties there, instead, only the Iraqi guards were responsible for the quarter, and things were looking calm...

Yesterday, all the streets were blocked and abandoned, no adults went to work, shops were closed, supermarkets were deserted, and, of course, all children as well as students stayed home. Patients remained unattended – clinics and pharmacies were closed too.

And, the Oil prices reached USD 71/barrel!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Collating AL Mahdi’s Field Guides

Street Streak:

At the Thawra District (Al Sadr), senior officials for Al Mahdi Militia have gathered people in mosques to discuss the general situation, and have passed the following instructions:

  1. People of the mentioned district are to avoid any attrition with the American army units when the latter pass in the nearby areas. Also, the instructions prohibit attacking the American army period.
  2. A few changes have been made concerning patrolling the district. New instructions call for people who are not real members of the militia (and who used to gather with their militiamen friends or neighbors carrying their own arms!) to stop making the patrolling duties with the appointed Militiamen. Also, any one working with the Iraqi police or for any security company are forbidden from taking any part in patrolling, guarding or watching duties.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Pepsi, a choice of a ‘new’ generation!

Baghdad - November 2005

Al Tarrar:
The FDA must have relaxed some of the Health and Safety regulations for the NEW Iraq!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Post Marital Syndrome?

Green Zone Buzz:

Mrs. Nisreen Berwari – the public works minister, has been on an overseas continual trip since September 2005. Important ministry’s paper work is pending her signature since the mentioned date. We don't know if her divorce from Vice president Mr. Ghazi Al Yawir has anything to do with such long trip!

Friday, April 07, 2006

The Fool on the Hill, and still is

BC News:

The Iraqi Minister of Planning and Development Dr. Barham Ahmed Saleh had met with the Japanese Ambassador Mr. Hysao Yamakoosh in Baghdad on March 28th 2006 to finalize a loan for financing set of projects in the power & agriculture sectors for various areas in Iraq, worth of USD 650 Millions at 1% annual campsite interest.

BC Bird:

Good achievement for a minister who has not been to his office in the Ministry of Planning and Development ever since he got his post and until this day ...He signs the ministry papers in the Green Zone - hasn’t met his employees ever!

Naughty Boys

BC Bird:

Mrs. Condi (scolding harshly): You kept on saying to the Americans that they should not interfere in your government internal affairs and now look what happened! You could not manage a thing by yourselves.

Mr. Straw: Yes, you couldn’t do a single thing on your own!

However, the curmudgeon PM of Iraq and et al looked quiet, guilty and their faces bent downward to the floor.

Later on, Mrs. Condi and Mr. Straw had reclined at the American Embassy in the Green Zone for a while where they had plans to meet with Mr. Al Jalabie for an evening treat.

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